


Bank, Bullets, Bomb

by acequid



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Emily’s inner voice sure swears a lot huh, F/F, as a treat, this is a Jemily fic no matter what the tags say, we all get a little angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acequid/pseuds/acequid
Summary: JJ’s wedding rips Emily’s fucking heart out.Or, Emily’s thoughts during the season 7 finale: “Run”
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/William LaMontagne Jr.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 85





	Bank, Bullets, Bomb

Emily is hurting.

She knows this is the job, and she knows Will’s job, and she knows they were bound to cross at some point.

Besides the job, she knows _Will_. She knows about him. She knows about his life and his life with JJ. She knows about their house, their perfect house in Georgetown with their perfect yard and perfect neighbors and _god_ , their perfect _son_. 

Rationally, she knows all of this, she is always aware of this at all times. 

But usually, when they’re at work, she can let that information fade deep down into the back of her mind, way far down so she doesn’t have to feel it like a spotlight burning her heart. When they’re at work, she can ignore it. 

But now, she can’t ignore it, because Will is here, Will is here in the middle of her team next to JJ and holding JJ’s hand and comforting JJ and Emily forces her eyes away from their joined fingers, because it’s sending blood pounding behind her eyes and she needs a clear head to work this situation.

And then they ask for Will. They ask to talk to Will. 

And Emily sees the pure fear flash in JJ’s eyes.

And then Will goes in.

And then Will gets shot.

And Morgan has to physically restrain JJ, JJ who’s screaming and struggling and writhing and Emily’s heart is breaking, breaking for her and the agony that she’s experiencing not knowing if her...boyfriend? Fiancé? Baby daddy? Is alive or dead, but also breaking because Emily’s supposed to be able to _ignore_ this.

Whether she knows it or not, in that moment Emily makes a decision.

And the hostages come out.

And the team goes in.

And the building blows up. 

It’s a moment so loud it’s silent. Agents blown back onto the street, shattered glass flying, JJ’s world coming down around her shoulders. 

“Where’s Will,” is the first thing JJ says through the daze. “Will!” as she enters the building. The building Emily had just entered through the back door. “Will!” through the dust and the rubble. “Will!”

“Emily?” Morgan. Emily could have just been killed, blown to smithereens, and the only voice looking for her is Morgan. It’s fine. It’s fine. She understands JJ’s position. More than anything, she understands JJ’s _priorities_. 

“Are you ok?” JJ. 

And then, _god,_ Emily knows better than to be surprised, Emily knows _better_ than to be stung, he’s her boyfriend for chrissake. JJ asks “Where’s Will? I haven’t seen him, is he ok?” 

Emily tries not to take it personally. 

She stays with the victims, with the couple, with the woman so totally in love with her person of sixty years. “He’s my story,” she says, and Emily feels those words with more impact than the blast she just survived. 

The team regroups. Emily gets her head in the fucking game.

She calls Clyde again, hoping he has some information about this mystery woman having far too much fun running for her freedom. 

Clyde gives her information. Clyde gives her a job. 

“Oh come on, don’t you miss this?” She hears the Brit’s teasing lilt, can imagine the smirk on his face. She doesn’t know what to say. Because honestly? Honestly she doesn’t. She couldn’t miss anything in London, or Europe, or anything having to do with Interpol, because Interpol pulls her away from her home, her team, from her family, from–

Her brain catches the thought before she lets herself admit it.

“I, ah…I’ll think about it,” she finally acquiesces, rolling her eyes, hanging up the phone, unwilling to dwell on what she’s just come dangerously close to unearthing.

They refocus on, as Emily has just discovered, Lady X. 

JJ and Morgan respond to a call, that the woman and the man and Will have just shown their faces at an ambulance dispatch center.

Emily watches JJ go and Emily doesn’t think about it too hard and Emily stays focused. 

“They know where we live,” JJ’s voice comes dead over the comms and Emily’s focus takes a hit. 

Terror seeps into her body at the thought of anything happening to little Henry, what would happen to _JJ_ if anything happened to Henry. 

Emily has to do something, so she and Reid and Morgan go back into the ruined building, scouring the scene for any insight, anything they might have missed. They run the dates over out loud, noting the countries, the times, how they’re all election years, and maybe this is all some political statement? This is DC, after all. But it doesn’t fit. 

And it dawns on Emily, their connection. That they’re a couple. “It’s their story,” she realizes out loud. “The dates, it’s their _story._ ” 

Disenfranchised soldiers, and pilots, and Chad, and a bomb, and a train, and it’s Union Station, they figure out it’s Union Station, and oh, _that’s_ why they need Will, oh _shit._

They swarm the station.

And she finds Will. 

Oh fucking hell, she finds Will. 

She rips the duct tape off his mouth. “Henry,” he manages with six transmitters and enough Semtex on him to blow the whole station sky-high strapped to his chest. “You gotta get Henry. They’re at the house.” Emily can’t help but notice this something else he has in common with his girlfriend, this absolute single-track mind and focus on his family. The thought faint in the tiny selfish part of Emily’s mind that she hates but can’t get rid of. 

Will tells her to leave. 

She has less than two _fucking_ minutes and he’s the second most important person in JJ’s life, behind only her son — their son — and JJ would never forgive her if she left him to die and JJ would be broken if she left him to die and JJ would be alone if he died and JJ would be single and vulnerable and single and looking for comfort and single—

She hates herself. God, she hates herself so much for thinking that, even for barely a millisecond. 

Will is telling her to leave. 

She doesn’t, she can’t. She won’t. 

“Seriously, Emily, get out of here. Go,” and Emily won’t leave him. 

She doesn’t let herself think about anything but the codes in front of her. One try left. “These are valentines for her, right? Okay, think. Four-letter words. Uh...life, love, soul?” her fingers shake as she watches the numbers tick down. 

“Izzy! Her name was Izzy,” Will says, apparently accepting Emily won’t leave, and Emily holds her breath, types in I...Z...Z...Y...and punches it, doesn’t stop to think that her life might be over with the press of this button. The phone turns green. She breathes again, too amazed that it worked, too relieved. 

The next panel flips open, showing “00:30” in angry, low-fi red. 

“Oh God,” she breathes. 

“Prentiss, what’s your status?” Hotch. She yanks the wire from her ear. 

Sixteen seconds. 

The details, it’s in the details, she’s thinking aloud but not hearing anything, trying not to overthink it. The wires, the colors, Chad, red, yellow, blue, only one different from the American flag. Seven seconds. She feels the hysterical laugh bubble up in her throat as she reaches for the yellow wire, two seconds, one second, cuts it, flinches––

Still here. 

Still alive.

No flash of light. 

Will practically moans in relief, head slumping down as Emily falls back on her heels, exhaling.

Still here, still alive, both of them. 

Emily wants to sob.

But she doesn’t. Like whiplash, she pulls all the frayed thoughts that have been unraveling her brain back into perfectly molded order. Fibers in a kevlar wall she’s built around her emotions for her whole life. It was a mistake, letting that wall weaken. Like cracks in the foundation of that stupid house she was really considering buying, to feel more stable in DC, like she actually belonged here. 

Will is alive, Will is fine, and Emily is damn sure JJ won’t let anything happen to her family – her _real_ family – ever again. Which means Emily gets to stop worrying about what to call that relationship, boyfriend and girlfriend, partners, fiancées, because there’s only one logical direction from here, and when it happens Emily loses JJ for good. 

When Emily comes into work and JJ has that extra ring on her finger, well, Emily loses the one place where she’s able to ignore and compartmentalize and _forget_. 

So her walls are back, but it doesn’t help, because the danger to her is already inside them and she can’t fight it, maybe because she doesn’t want to fight it, which just means she’s letting herself get hurt and not doing anything to stop it. And regardless of how it’s happening, it’s happening, and it’ll just get worse the longer she stays, and she needs to get away from it – _her_ – she finally admits, she needs to get away from _her,_ because she needs all the pain to stop.

She recognizes her decision. She doesn’t want it, _god_ she doesn’t want it, but she makes it.

And there’s still one more thing she needs to do.

JJ’s wedding rips her fucking heart out. 

JJ’s wedding makes her happier than she ever thought possible. 

Emily looks around at these people who love her, who make her feel safe, and is filled with such a sense of love and loss that the tears she suppressed at the bomb site nearly come bursting through. The guilt eats her, as she thinks about what she’d be doing to them by leaving again. It burns through her stomach like acid. But she lets herself dance with each of them, makes herself appreciate every moment she has left with her family, etches this perfect night into her memory forever and ever. 

Lets herself smile at JJ, perfect and beautiful and dancing with her brand-new husband, with as much support and warmth and care and yeah, love, as is humanly possible. If nothing else, _despite_ everything else, Emily above all things wants JJ to be happy. And she is. So Emily lets herself be too. 

She just never remembered happiness hurting this much. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I’m joining the Jemily train about 10 years late :) I hope you enjoyed this, I have more on the way.  
> (kudos and comments feed my goblin brain!)


End file.
